Why romance/erotica novels?

Be more controversial.  That's what my husband suggested to me when coming up with blog posts.  I thought, I don't want to offend anyone!  But really if it's my opinion and I'm not forcing you to agree or disagree I can't really offend you.  He suggested I read other blogs and respond to them (whether I agree or disagree) so I've read a few but what I feel like responding to is not just people's impressions of romance/erotica novels but my own friends and family who are truly baffled by my insane enjoyment of them.

First a few impressions:
1. Romance novels give an unrealistic expectation of relationships.
This is true, but really isn't that the point!?  And isn't saying romance novels gives women unrealistic expectations of relationships the same as saying those violent video games make kids violent (and we all know the debate on that one)?

Recently I read a blog that indicated that woman are demanding that their boyfriends/husbands be and act more like Christian Grey and then are disappointed when they don't give them everything they want and spankings are not as tingly as they had imagined.  Really?  This is really what women are thinking when they read this book?  I for one feel that I am intelligent enough to know the difference between real life and fiction.  I may not show it when I go rushing off into the woods looking for Alcide while I'm on vacation but eventually I come back to reality.  Honestly!  I am fully aware that Christian and Ana are fictional characters.  I do not expect my husband (who is not a 28 year old CEO with a great body) to cater to my every whim every time I cry (although I can't say I haven't tried, but I did that BEFORE 50 Shades, what woman hasn't used tears every now and then).  My relationship with him is WORK!  Yes there is love and fun but mostly it's hard work and who wants to read about that?  And what is wrong with trying to recreate some of the more erotic scenes from the book or any of the books I've read?  I am ALL for that!  If it's not your cup of tea then you move on to something else.  But every relationship needs some spice and newness too it.  I really would like to try the two sets of handcuffs (one to each wrist and ankle) but it doesn't have to be on a boat in Monte Carlo.  Will I like it?  Who knows?  But at least I've tried and had fun doing it.

Isn't it the newness of a relationship and attraction that makes your stomach flutter and your -insert every creative word for vagina here- start to tingle? Of course these relationships are unrealistic but you could say that about every love song ever written, every popular country song that has ever been sung, and every Disney movie ever made creates an unrealistic view of relationships.  I don't see these industries suffering for creating this illusion so someone somewhere must enjoy them. 

2. Romance novels are all the same.
Aren't all fiction books the SAME?  Give me one fiction book written in the last twenty years that has a truly original plot.  Every genre has their own formula and most authors stick with those formulas.  Really if you're a big mystery fan haven't you figured out the way plots work in every mystery novel?  Same is true of action suspense, horror, fantasy, sci-fi.

Typically boy meets girl, girls thinks boy is HOT, boy thinks girls is sexy as hell.  Then there's major misunderstandings, boy loses girl and must win girl back.  Ultimately there is an HEA (Happily Ever After) and in the middle if you're lucky some great steamy sex!

All the men are tall, well built and very well endowed and even if they're virgins they know exactly how to get a woman where they need to be.  All of the women are fairly non-descript I believe, so that women reading the books can picture themselves in the book.

So, true, there are no big surprises and you know they'll end up together in the end but it's in between that's exciting just like any other fiction book.

3. It's porn for women
I'll concede this impression but it's the kind of porn women would want to watch.  The blog I indicated above claimed that 50 Shades degraded women more than any guy porn movie.  But let's exam why this is not necessarily true.

First there's a plot in romance books.  I know, I know guys don't want a plot.  I get that but if you're going to say you're not objectifying women why don't the women have more depth then how deep their throats are?  Ana maybe ditzy and clumsy but at least you know who she is and not just how many times she can be pounded in a five minute clip. I know I'm not alone in saying that women are more cerebral in their sexual arousal and need cognitive and verbal stimulation in addition to visual and physical stimulation.

Second there is just as much focus on the man as there is on the woman in a romance/erotica novel.  The one thing I can't stand about watching porn is that rarely is the guy featured (and when he is it's not always pretty).  I get that too.  Porn's major audience is men and men don't (always) like to watch other men.  Well guess what boys... WE DO! And we don't want to have to go the gay porn route.  A romance/erotic novel gives us that focus on the man as well.  We don't really care if a man wouldn't actually be thinking the things they think or say in the books or that they really would not be able to formulate anything more coherent than a grunt let alone sexy banter as they climax.  If men only need to see the actually in and out women need to  hear the sexy words along with the in and out (something you'll never find in a real porn film... believe me I've looked).

My enjoyment of this genre is for pure entertainment value.  I don't want to have to process really deep material when I'm relaxing by the pool.  I like being transported to these worlds for the brief time it takes to read them.  Does it create unrealistic expectations? Maybe, but no more than romantic comedies, love songs and Disney movies.  Are they all the same? Yes, but again no more than any other genre.  It is porn for women? Yes, but I don't think they demean women any more than porn movies do.  I know it's fiction and don't expect my husband to be more like the characters in the books (some would impossible what with many of them being wolves and vampires) but I will confess that sex has been must more exciting and creative since I began reading so voraciously over the last two years.  I'm more uninhibited and my husband will tell you that he "read a study that said men who's wives read romance novels get twice as much sex as those whose wives don't... and that is why I bought her a Nook and can definitely say the study is true".  So say what you want in regards to the ridiculousness of romance novels, I will continue to enjoy them and my man will reap the benefits. 

Free books can be awesome

Being broke most of the time but still needing to feed my nook addiction I often put in the search for "free romance" and have found MANY free books that I would never have found in a store!  Some times you get what you pay for but other times you find some really great gems.  Many times the free books are short and full of typos but hey they're free so you just delete those and move on to others.  I was really lucky with my first free books.  Here's a run down of the Werewolf Series by Nicky Charles.

I found Nicky Charles when looking for free nook books.  The first book in the series I found was The Mating.  Naturally it sounded rather erotic so I thought let's give it a try.  You know it's gonna be a hot and steamy book when there is hot and steamy werewolf sex within the first chapter!  The premise is that two packs make an alliance and the daughter of one pack leader is betrothed to the alpha of another pack.  Naturally the daughter doesn't want this responsibility and is afraid of what this alpha will be like.  That is of course until she meets him.  Yep, you guessed it he's tall, hot, ripped and knows how to use his animal instincts in some very creative ways.  Although at first glance you think "oh my God this is nothing but sex"  (which I wasn't complaining about) but if you keep reading you get a much  more in depth story that is full of pack threats, politics and great shifting action.

You also meet the other members of the pack and like I've said before I love this in a series.  It's what makes you want to continue on with the other books.  Getting caught up in the stories of the other characters is really what drives a series.  I like the 50 Shades Series and I absolutely loved most of the Outlander Series but these all focused on two main characters and after awhile I kinda get bored and need some fresh meat to sink my teeth into.  Anyway, the other wolves in the pack are also gorgeous (have yet to actually ever meet a werewolf that isn't, but maybe I'm just blinded by Trueblood's Alcide and Twilight's Sam and Jacob).

The cool think about Nicky Charles is that all she asks for in return for downloading her books is that you make a donation to your local Humane Society.  She wants to keep her books free.  Unlike some other writers who get you hooked on a series with the first book free and then charge for the others, she likes that her books are free and plans to keep them this way.  It also helps that she's an excellent writer.  I highly recommend downloading her books.  If you like a good steamy werewolf story (and Trueblood is on hiatus) this is definitely the way to go if you're budgetly impaired.

But don't stop there.  There are a lot of other books that I have found that are good for a quickie (pun intended) or for a full blown romance.  Most recently I've read a really hot and sexy book about a firefighter (In Too Deep by Kathryn Shay).    

I will warn you that there have been many duds that I've found as well but they are worth the gems that I have read.  So the next time you're looking for some cheap and great reads check out the ones mentioned in in this blog.  If you have some suggestions of good free reads feel free to leave them in the comments section.  From one addict to another... happy reading.

The Brothers - Wrath

After reading most of the Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark Hunter series I was looking for another vampire series that would hopefully be just as good as the one I had just finished. The nice thing about the Nook is that when you’re in shopping mode it gives you suggestions of what others who have bought the book you’re looking at have also bought. This was how I discovered J.R. Ward (she has also written books under the name Jessica Bird).

The series that came up first was her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I thought Black Dagger Brotherhood? It’ll probably be really campy and she can’t possibly write as good as Sherilynn Kenyon does but it seemed to be quite a popular series among those who had read the Dark Hunter series so I took a chance and read the synopsis of the first book…

Dark Lover : The first novel in J.R. Ward’s New York Times bestselling Black Dagger Brotherhood series features a unique take on vampire lore and heavy doses of sensuality. The vampire Darius fears for the life of his half-breed daughter, who is unaware of her unusual destiny. To oversee her transformation, Darius seeks help from Wrath, a dangerous loner and the world’s only purebred vampire.

Okaaaaay, I’m game! I purchase the first book and the love affair with these men was instantaneous. The twist on vampires in this book was one that I had never considered. The WARDen (as her fans have affectionately named her) creates this world (Caldwell, New York) where vampires are really a separate species created by a benevolent (albeit a mysterious) creator. They cannot “change” humans into vampires and they are not immortal they just age very, very slowly once they go through their transitions, and they heal rapidly which makes them hard to kill. Much of the same vampire lore is true such as amazing strength, increased senses (particularly the sense of smell), and the inability to process sunlight. The interesting thing here is they don't have this sensitivity until after they go through the "transition" from child to adult at around the age of twenty-five. Until this time they are scrawny, weak, can go out during the day and have no sexual drive whatsoever. But within a twenty-four hour period they go through a transformation that most humans take over five years through their teens to accomplish. As you can see the amount of detail in creating this world is astounding!

The WARDen has a supernatural ability to not only create this entire race (creation story, language, biology, government, social hierarchy, and theology) but weaves them in along side the human race and the reader actually has to remind themselves that this is fiction.

She instantly drags you into this other world and introduces you to some of the most interesting characters you have ever met. Immediately upon opening the first book you get to know Darius and even in the few pages that she uses to introduce him, you find him to be strong, courageous, but most of all a family man who wants nothing more than to unite his brothers and keep his last remaining child (a half-human/half-vampire daughter) alive. She endears you so quickly to these characters that when Darius dies within the first two chapters you're devastated by the loss. I've never grown to care for a character so quickly.

Wrath initially refuses to help Darius with his daughter but with the tragic death of his fellow warrior, Wrath is compelled to see out his friend's last wish (little does he know how she will effect him when they first meet). Wrath is your typical brooding hero type but the WARDen describes him in such a way that you don't feel sorry for him and you don't roll your eyes thinking "God what a whiner"! He does anything and everything to protect Beth but he doesn't keep her from being who she is and allows her strength and skills to flourish. When you meet Beth you find that she is strong and full of spirit and you like her instantly. She doesn't take any of the boys' shit, which is something all of the women who end up with a brother will need to be able to do. The dialogue is very easy to follow and the characters have well developed senses of humor. Each one has their own unique brand of sarcasm that only builds on their personality.

I fell in love with this series because of this first book but there are others in the series that just really solidified this series as being the best I have ever read. The thing about this book is it sets up and depicts most of the other characters who will appear later in the series. Unlike most series where the focus is mainly on the two main love interests, the WARDen expertly weaves tales for several other secondary characters as well as provides you with an insight into the thoughts and plans of the villains. It's these side stories that keep you reading. You know the main characters are going to have their HEA (Happily Ever After) but it's the other stories that keep you hooked. Will there be a book for this or that character and if so what will their story be? After ten books in the series I'm still not tired of them and hope there are many many more to come. For sure there is an eleventh as mentioned in another post... Lover At Last will be out in March of 2013!!! This couple's tale has been anticipated for almost six books now!

For those who might be keeping track... Wrath and Beth do have a song - Without You by Mötley Crüe

From book to nook...

My journey from paper books to my coveted nook was a slow process.  I, like many others, felt that reading electronic books just couldn't have the same ambiance as reading the well worn pages of a good novel.  The excitement of turning a page and being able to visually see how much more you had left in a chapter... that's what reading is all about, right?

So how could I possibly start reading electronically?  Outwardly I railed against the idea...I am not a techno geek (or so I thought).  Repeated advertising of this new technology got me thinking though.  Perhaps I should just embrace my inner nerd and check this out.

As an avid reader, mainly those sappy romance/erotic novels (which should preferably feature some supernatural or rugged hero who needs saving of his own, as well as a strong yet vulnerable heroine) I found that I was purchasing paperback after paperback.  I also rarely read a book more than once.  I mean once you know the story why waste your time re-reading when you can just skip to the juicy parts?  So here I was with copious amounts of paperback books and no place to put them all!  How do I remedy that? Hmmm... it would be so nice to have just one device that could hold all of my books.  And so the research began.

I looked at the Kindle, the Ipad and the Nook.  The Ipad was just too expensive and I really only wanted something that would allow me to read without all of the other features.  So it was down to the Kindle and the Nook.  The deciding factor came after a visit to my local Barnes and Noble store where the Nook agent explained in detail the many fine features of their product.  What was the finally selling point you may ask... you can access the public library (ohhh FREE BOOKS and NO LATE FEES).  I was sold!

Got my first edition Nook and went about downloading my first few books.  I couldn't believe the vast amounts of books that I would have never realized existed without this wonderful gadget.  The day I fell in love with my Nook happened when I was rocking my new born son to sleep for a nap and decided to read while we were rocking.  Had I had one of those paperbacks I would never have been able to turn the page without disturbing the peaceful slumber going on in my lap.  But my Nook... well now that's where it became awesome.  Just click the side and magically the pages turned for me, quietly and with no disturbance.

And, oh, the books that I've found since that day.  So many authors both good and bad.  Some are now my favorite authors ever.  I know I often use my Nook to escape the stress of life and the frustrations with raising three children and trying to maintain marriage (which let's face it ladies a good romance novel can be extremely good for the hubby as well) and holding down a job.  But the worlds that I get to escape into are exciting and sexy and breathtaking.  Many of the books that I have purchased or found have been electronic releases that I would have never found in the book store.  Many of these are among the best books I have read.

No I don't read the really deep literature and I rarely look for books that make me think.  My books are an escape and I try not to find books that make me look at real issues.  However, many of the books even though they may be "trashy" romance novels, have a heart and a soul to the characters.  Many of my posts will be about the characters, authors and books that I have discovered in my journey from book to nook...

In case you need to begin a new addiction... Get yourself a Nook!
Also available at OfficeMax.com.